IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer.

#government #ban #places #people #freedoms
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, people have known that smoking is harmful to human beings.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some claim that prohibiting smoking must be taken action in all open facilities by the government, even though the banning regulation could affect smokers’ rights to use those places. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 action is essential to do.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will probe some reasons to support
this
Linking Words
 issue.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, using cigarettes have been proved by doctors and scientists for years that it would cause many lethal diseases
such
Linking Words
 as lung cancer.
However
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 a dangerous disease does not happen to smokers only. In fact, scientists found that those who approach the smoke might suffer lung diseases as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, if the cigarette has not been taken care of well, it might lead to fire accidents, though it was a little flame at the very beginning.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is common to see tragedies on the news that a burning cigarette was thrown into a bin but there have newspapers,
then
Linking Words
 the fire was out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control and burned the whole building.
Moreover
Linking Words
, banning smoking can
also
Linking Words
 help us to keep the place clean because most of the cigarette users would throw the used cigarettes on the ground
instead
Linking Words
 of the specific bin. As for the smoking additions, the prohibited behaviour might make them uncomfortable while they desire to smoke, but it is not a big deal to stop for a short period. After all, they can still smoke when they leave the place or in the allowed areas. In summary, limiting smoking in public places has a lot of benefits.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 action could reduce the opportunity to get our lungs sick or the possibility of fire accidents.
Submitted by cat861119 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: