In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some parts of the globe are witnesses of an ascending rate of both obesity and
similarly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
the associated diseases.
However
,some probable factors are uttered here,
whereas
the possible solutions are given as well to iron out the issue. One of the most highlighted contributors
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
suffering from
unfit
Correct article usage
an unfit
show examples
body
has to do with the sedentary lifestyle that recently dominated the globe as an offspring of the development of technology,which has bestowed
comfortability
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
to humans in exchange
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
their health.As a vivid case,the majority of the
body
demandig
Correct your spelling
demanding
demanded
functions that used to be seen in farms,nowadays,are tackled by the machines,
therefore
,a lower level of calory is burned in comparison with previous decades.
Furthermore
,
while
the
body
Change noun form
body's
show examples
requirement
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
energy has plummeted drastically,
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
consumsion
Correct your spelling
consumption
has skyrocketed owing to the
emerging
Replace the word
emergence
show examples
of pre-packed foods that
uaually
Correct your spelling
usually
are unhealthy.Not only utilise a lucrative source of spices to
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
flavour to them but
also
some chemicals are added to them
for enhancing
Change preposition
to enhance
show examples
the expire dates,which based on the expert neither
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
essential ingredients nor
heve
Correct your spelling
have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
footprint on our
healyh
Correct your spelling
health
in
long
Add an article
a long
the long
show examples
period. As a remedial idea,exercising has been suggested to individuals
due to
both the
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
and psychological benefits that it can bring to their lives.To enlighten,the level of the hormones would
be revise
Change the verb form
be revised
show examples
if a frequent
schedual
Correct your spelling
schedule
of working out be adopted by people,
hence
,as
masengers
Correct your spelling
messengers
passengers
the hormones will control our
body
in the best way,based on the released researches.The other worth mentioning alternation can be experienced after
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
the eating diets.
For instance
,the majority of the champions,who have
fitnessed
Correct your spelling
witnessed
fitness
muscules
Correct your spelling
muscles
show examples
, utilise the consults of their trainer to have a
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
habit for eating.As they allege,they not only avoid approximately any kinds of oil but
also
use the parts of the chicken that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lower rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fat,
while
they believe that adequate energy would be in access
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
their tissues to be built. To recapitulate,by imposing a balance between the given calories and
similarly
the burned rate,it is feasible to find the health that our
pevious
Correct your spelling
previous
generation used to enjoy
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.Namely,both abandoning the detrimental dishes and as well enough exercising are vital to get rid of obesity.
Submitted by drpnima on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • obesity
  • overweight
  • physical activity
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • exercise
  • unhealthy diet
  • fast food
  • urbanization
  • modernization
  • stress
  • awareness
  • education
  • government intervention
  • policies
  • promotion
  • sports
  • fitness programs
  • health education
  • taxation
  • public transportation
  • infrastructure
  • parks
  • recreational spaces
What to do next:
Look at other essays: