Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle.

#people #world #fact #lifestyle

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show examples

cannot be denied that modern

people

are facing various

health

problems

and diseases. Some

people

believe

thatthe

Correct your spelling

that the

explanation for

this

is due to our inactive lifestyle. From my perspective, the reason can be considered as one

ofthe

Correct your spelling

of the

biggest

problems

however

, we cannot ignore

others

Correct pronoun usage

other

show examples

more dangerous impacts that can easily cause sickness

toour

Correct your spelling

to our

well-being.

To begin

with, we have to explain how

this

sedentary lifestyle happened. Due to the fast development of technology,

people

now tend to rely on

machinesthan

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machines than

machines that

doing works by themselves. Technology makes

people

feel like they can help them to do anything

withoutputting

Correct your spelling

without putting

hands on. The thought has revealed and caused the impetus of laziness of human nature.

Consequently

people

will be less active, and slowly stop working or even exercising.

This

leads to a variety

ofdangerous

Correct your spelling

of dangerous

both physical and mental

health

problems

, which can be named

such

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

as stress, sleeplessness,

highpressure

Correct your spelling

high pressure

high-pressure

, weak bones, overweight, etc.

On the other hand

, there are

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

negative impacts caused

health

Change preposition

by health

show examples

issues from our daily background.

For example

, the environment has been polluted with toxic gasses, chemicals or even daily trashes, so due to

thisfact

Correct your spelling

this fact

, many

people

have to deal with different types of allergies. Or another instance is because

people

want to

buycheap

Correct your spelling

buy cheap

things, even food,

this

has led

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

cause of foodborne disease. To sum up, I do agree with the statement which says our sedentary lifestyle is the cause of many medical

problems

however

, we cannot ignore others dangerous effects. In conclusion, still,

people

have to put their

health

as the

toppriority

Correct your spelling

top priority

in any circumstances.

Submitted by icemarat6 on Sat Feb 05 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Cardiovascular health
Prolonged inactivity
Obesity
Hypertension
Coronary artery disease
Stroke
Diabetes
Mental health
Depression
Anxiety
Musculoskeletal health
Back pain
Posture
Osteoporosis
Prevention
Walking
Standing desks
Regular exercise

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Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Technology has brought many changes in our lives, especially in the educaion system. One of these is the introduction of online studies. Is this a positive or negative dvelopment? Give readons and examples from your personal opinion.

Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.

Some people say the goverment should give health care the first priorities, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is bette to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?