IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate on how to deal with perpetrators. While some claim that putting
offenders
 behind bars brings a tremendous impact on them, the opposite makes a statement that schooling and training are better
method
Change the noun form
methods
show examples
. The former is valid to some extent but I consider myself an advocate of the latter.
Education
 and training play a paramount significant role in coping with law-breakers. The reason why people break the law is they aren’t aware of their action’s severe consequences so the government should provide
education
 to help them perceive the wrong and think over it before taking action.
Moreover
, vocational training enables
offenders
 to produce income and prevent them from becoming a burden to society.
For instance
, Viet Nam’s prison teaches law-breakers about tailoring, breeding castles so they are capable of earning a living.
As a result
,
education
 and training bring a favourable influence on solving
criminals
. While the redeeming feature of
education
 and training is widely acknowledged, sending
criminals
 to jail is an essential way for some special
criminals
. Regarding habitual
offenders
 who commit crimes repeatedly and show little respect for the legal system, they should be locked up in a confined space in order not to contaminate ordinary people. White-collar
offenders
 can be cited as an example because they often use their minds to cheat and deceive the market.
Hence
, it is imperative to send perpetrators to jail. To sum up,
although
education
 and training bring desirable effects, the government should keep some
criminals
 contained to protect innocent people.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: