IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannothave these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#technology #advances #cultures #cannothave #two
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It is claimed that technology is civilized day by day in recent years.
Although
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,
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apply
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 A number of people claimed
thattraditional
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that traditional
 cultures can be lost as technology develops, I partially agree with
this
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 point of view and I believe that
techcould
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tech could
 be more conducive than traditional
culture
Use synonyms
 perseverance. In
global
Correct article usage
the global
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 century, it is thought that as other innovations, manual works of traditional
culture
Use synonyms
 replaced significantly
bytechnology
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by technology
technology
. It means some traditions do go out of fashion year by year.
For example
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, many factories today
ordinarilymanufactured
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ordinarily manufactured
 their products by some modern machines
instead
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 of hand-made works. because
,
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apply
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 it keeps
makingmuch
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making much
 more
efficiency
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efficient
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 and
productivity
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productive
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 rather than classical
culture
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.
In addition
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, here another example to view is
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the electronica
theelectronical
Correct article usage
the theelectronical
show examples
 visual displays. Long years ago, teachers had to use chalks and
black boards
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blackboards
show examples
 to write lesson details
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in order
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inorder
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in order
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 to explain themes clearly, but, nowadays, because of
electronical
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electronic
 visual displays, it is
convinient
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convenient
 to
showlessons
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show lessons
, among with there are videos
also
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 to clarify themes. Yet, others argue that
manifacturing
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manufacturing
 products by using
machies
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machines
machine
 may not be sometimes valuable as hand-made
worksfor
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works for
 example, in fashion industries, experts admire hand-made dresses when they award fashion designers for it.Because it is known that
hand- made
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hand-made
show examples
 works always require time and
patient
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patience
show examples
 from creators. To conclude, I am partly convinced that technology can be
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seen
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seem
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seen
show examples
 as
way
Add an article
a way
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 of productivity and
revalutionary
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revolutionary
 to
makeproducts
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make products
,
however
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, traditional
culture
Use synonyms
 will not be lost
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 value in the
next
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 term as well despite utilizing
moderntechnology
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modern technology
.
Submitted by icemarat6 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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