IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is a controversial perspective heating a debate whether to exponentially enhance top-notch
communication
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technology
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such
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 as mobile phones, tablets and others. While some
people
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 believe its demerits outweigh its counterpart, I would contend that it may do more good than harm. Without a shadow of a doubt, cutting-edge
technology
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 plays a paramount significant role in
communication
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 in
this
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 day and age. Almost all
people
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 have their own smartphone or laptop ưith a lot of applications which facilitates their work, study online and
chatting
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chat
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 with their friends. Zoom can be cited as an example
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 helps
people
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 to communicate and study online easily with a wide range of functions.
Hence
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, the dramatic improvement of
communication
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 devices brings a
tremendous
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tremendously
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favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
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 impact on humans’ life. While the redeeming feature of communicating via
technology
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 is widely acknowledged, its counterpart still lingers. Phones can be addictive and make
people
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 socially isolated from the real world. In fact, the number of
people
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 who are not interested in communicating face to face
,
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apply
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 has
an
Correct article usage
apply
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exponential increase all around the world.
As a result
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, the drawback of
communication
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 devices brings
undesirable
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an undesirable
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 influence on humans. To sum up, for the time being, the development of top-notch
technology
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 used to communicate proves itself as an advantageous effect despite having some disadvantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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