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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about news events. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#media #people #touch #news #events
The internet and social
media
 are decorating peoples
life
 by making communication easy during stressful daily routines.
However
, the drawbacks of social
media
also
 are undeniable. The forthcoming paragraphs will present the advantages and disadvantages of social
media
.
Social
Add an article
The social
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 network has already become a part of our
life
. Individuals can share their unforgettable moments and
information
 about them through Instagram and Facebook.
Consequently
,
such
 kind of interaction of
people
 can create new communities where
people
 with similar world-outlook can help each other at the mutual ideas.
Moreover
,
people
 can compare the lifestyles of others and make a conclusion or be
motiveted
Correct your spelling
motivated
 with.
For instance
, some has reached the
everest
Change the capitalization
Everest
show examples
 while another one is watching it on Youtube and of
caurse
Correct your spelling
course
people
 will contemplate about it. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
firts
Correct your spelling
first
 glance, social
media
 is innocent and harmless, whereas it has myriad drawbacks. Publishing innumerable
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of personal
information
 can lead to losing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
life
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 if
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
share
Change the verb form
shares
show examples
 each moment of his or her
life
 with the world, his or her
life
 will be not interesting for others.
Moreover
, among the countless
information
Add a comma
,information
show examples
 it is
really
Add an article
a really
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 hard job to identify the true authentic one. In many cases,
asspacially
Correct your spelling
especially
 young users of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 posts news and
date
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data
show examples
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without
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with out
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without
show examples
 having any fundamental knowledge about it.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 false news will be circulated and many
people
 will be in panic spontaneously.
On
Change preposition
In
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concluding
Replace the word
conclusion
show examples
, social
media
 created great opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 easy communication and exchange
information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
.
However
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
publishing personal
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 must be
taking
Wrong verb form
taken
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 seriously
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
 the
privet
Correct your spelling
private
show examples
life
 of individuals can
be endanger
Change the verb form
be endangered
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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