IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Social media enable people to keep in touch with each other and learn about news events. Do advantages outweigh disadvantages?

#media #people #touch #news #events
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The internet and social
media
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 are decorating peoples
life
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 by making communication easy during stressful daily routines.
However
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, the drawbacks of social
media
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also
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 are undeniable. The forthcoming paragraphs will present the advantages and disadvantages of social
media
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.
Social
Add an article
The social
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 network has already become a part of our
life
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. Individuals can share their unforgettable moments and
information
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 about them through Instagram and Facebook.
Consequently
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,
such
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 kind of interaction of
people
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 can create new communities where
people
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 with similar world-outlook can help each other at the mutual ideas.
Moreover
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,
people
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 can compare the lifestyles of others and make a conclusion or be
motiveted
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motivated
 with.
For instance
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, some has reached the
everest
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Everest
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 while another one is watching it on Youtube and of
caurse
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course
people
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 will contemplate about it. At
the
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apply
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firts
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first
 glance, social
media
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 is innocent and harmless, whereas it has myriad drawbacks. Publishing innumerable
amount
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amounts
show examples
 of personal
information
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 can lead to losing
the
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apply
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private
life
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.
For
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example
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,example
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 if
person
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a person
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share
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shares
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 each moment of his or her
life
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 with the world, his or her
life
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 will be not interesting for others.
Moreover
Linking Words
, among the countless
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information
Add a comma
,information
show examples
 it is
really
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a really
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 hard job to identify the true authentic one. In many cases,
asspacially
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especially
 young users of
internet
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the internet
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 posts news and
date
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data
show examples
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without
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with out
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without
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 having any fundamental knowledge about it.
As a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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 false news will be circulated and many
people
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 will be in panic spontaneously.
On
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In
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concluding
Replace the word
conclusion
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, social
media
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 created great opportunities
to
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for
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 easy communication and exchange
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information
Change preposition
of information
show examples
.
However
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,
the
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apply
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publishing personal
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 must be
taking
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taken
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 seriously
other wise
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otherwise
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 the
privet
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private
show examples
life
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 of individuals can
be endanger
Change the verb form
be endangered
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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