Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Some
people
believe that in
the present Change preposition
apply
technology
inclined
being used to monitor what Verb problem
is
the
users are saying and doing Correct article usage
apply
such
as tracking people
position through a Change noun form
people's
smartphone
. In my opinion, I agree with the invention bringing a lot of benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
in
human life now, even though there was an issue that said the cell phone company monitored Change preposition
to
people
from afar.
In developed countries like the United Kingdom, Japan, Korea, and others, many people
used
Wrong verb form
use
home
security
technology
with cameras that are connected to their smartphones. It helps working parents to
protect their homes Fix the infinitive
apply
while
going to the office. Another advantage for parents that
Correct pronoun usage
who
used
that Wrong verb form
use
technology
with a nanny service to take care of their baby is feeling calmer to see them than without camera monitoring. For example
, my brother and my sister-in-law are working parents so they put a camera in front of the home
gate, and living room to guard their house, so they did not need to hire security
to protect their home
.
On the other hand
, much news on the internet spread
a rumor that big Wrong verb form
spreads
smartphone
companies always track individual positions through their system, However
, that issue does not make
a person limit them using a Verb problem
prevent
smartphone
. The reason behind that because with
using a Change preposition
that
smartphone
can bring easy access to the user for using many services. For instance
, the students can access their mathematic
Replace the word
mathematics
e-book
through their cell Fix the agreement mistake
e-books
phone
and do not need to struggle to put the big Fix the agreement mistake
phones
boog
in their bag, the price is cheaper than the hardcover book.
To summarize, It is obvious that Correct your spelling
book
technology
development solved many problems Replace the word
technological
around
human life Change preposition
in
such
as home
security
guards and easy access to many facilities on the phone application. Even though their movement is always get monitoring
, Wrong verb form
monitored
however
many countries have already implemented a cyber Rephrase
apply
security
policy to avoid that kind of problem.Submitted by nurulrofifah on
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task response
Provide a more detailed and balanced response to the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of technology monitoring. Develop your ideas further to provide a more comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is generally logical and the introduction and conclusion are present. Focus on organizing your ideas more coherently within paragraphs to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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