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Band 5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people can achieve it. What are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
Most
of
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apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 attempt to create equality
among
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in
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 their careers and living.
However
, several of them failed to reach
this
 target.I believe exploring the causes of
this
 problem can assist to find a suitable solution to help resolve it. Having
a heavy
Correct the article-noun agreement
heavy work loads
a heavy work load
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work loads
Correct your spelling
workloads
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 could partly account for that
people
 find it difficult to spend some quality
time
 on their life.Since most
of
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apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 have a tight schedule ,they are unable to come up
their
Change preposition
with their
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 needs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life.To address
this
 issue, employers should recruit more workforces.Due to the fact that employers are responsible for delegating tasks between their workers ,they should ensure that all the
Correct your spelling
employees
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employes
Correct your spelling
employees
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 have equal tasks and they shouldn't work too much because it can cause many problems in the efficiency of the company.
moreover
 , working too much can be tedious and tiring .
Thus
, they are more likely to
fail
Add the particle
tofail
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 meet the company expectations. Not spending adequate
time
 with family can
also
 explain why many
people
 are unable to reach their goals. Most
of
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apply
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people
Add an article
the people
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 are stuck behind their table during the day and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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cause they can not spend
time
 with their children and family . To remedy
this
 situation , individuals should be informed about the causes of working too much . To conclude , even though having a tight schedule and being unable to spend
time
 with family contribute to
people
 failing to reach their goals, employers can remedy the situation .in my opinion recruiting more workforces and informing
people
 about working too much
are steps
Change the verb form
step
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 in the right direction.
Submitted by banan_reza on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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