IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people can achieve it. What are the causes of this problem? How to overcome it?

#people #aim #balance #work #lives
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Most
of
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apply
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people
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the people
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 attempt to create equality
among
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in
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 their careers and living.
However
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, several of them failed to reach
this
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 target.I believe exploring the causes of
this
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 problem can assist to find a suitable solution to help resolve it. Having
a heavy
Correct the article-noun agreement
heavy work loads
a heavy work load
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work loads
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workloads
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 could partly account for that
people
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 find it difficult to spend some quality
time
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 on their life.Since most
of
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people
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the people
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 have a tight schedule ,they are unable to come up
their
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with their
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 needs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life.To address
this
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 issue, employers should recruit more workforces.Due to the fact that employers are responsible for delegating tasks between their workers ,they should ensure that all the
Correct your spelling
employees
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employes
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employees
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 have equal tasks and they shouldn't work too much because it can cause many problems in the efficiency of the company.
moreover
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 , working too much can be tedious and tiring .
Thus
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, they are more likely to
fail
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tofail
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 meet the company expectations. Not spending adequate
time
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 with family can
also
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 explain why many
people
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 are unable to reach their goals. Most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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 are stuck behind their table during the day and
it
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apply
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cause they can not spend
time
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 with their children and family . To remedy
this
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 situation , individuals should be informed about the causes of working too much . To conclude , even though having a tight schedule and being unable to spend
time
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 with family contribute to
people
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 failing to reach their goals, employers can remedy the situation .in my opinion recruiting more workforces and informing
people
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 about working too much
are steps
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step
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 in the right direction.
Submitted by banan_reza on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Work-life balance: the equilibrium between one's job responsibilities and personal life.
  • Overwork: working too hard or for excessive amounts of time.
  • Remote work: working from a location other than the central work office, often from home.
  • Flexible working hours: work hours that are adaptable to suit an employee's needs.
  • Commuting: traveling between one's home and workplace.
  • Digital technology: electronic tools and systems used to generate, store, and process data, often leading to increased connectivity.
  • Disconnect: to detach from technology or work communications, often to establish boundaries.
  • Time management: the ability to use one's time effectively or productively.
  • Prioritize: to determine the order for dealing with tasks according to their importance.
  • Employer support: programs or practices employed by an organization to assist employees in managing work and personal roles.
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