Nowadays, more and more children play computer games. Why do you think this is the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

#children #computer #games #case #development

Due to the advancement of

technology

, playing

computer

games

is becoming common among

children

. Today,

children

like to play

computer

games

more. In

this

essay, I will argue why it is a negative effect of playing

computer

games

children

, but it could be solved by

parents

Firstly

parents

are more responsible for

this

problem. They do not focus on their offspring because they are very busy in their offices.

For instance

, if

father

Fix the agreement mistake

fathers

show examples

and

mother

Fix the agreement mistake

mothers

show examples

will focus only on their work,

this

situation will become more difficult in the future.

Secondly

Technology

also

playing a negative role in playing

computer

games

more. The price of the internet is becoming cheaper as compared to the price in the past.

For example

, if

father

Correct article usage

the father

show examples

and mother will subscribe to the plan,

offspring

Correct article usage

the offspring

show examples

will play more

games

on the

computer

. Overall, both

parents

and

technology

with the internet are responsible for

this

situation.

However

this

problem could be solved by

parents

. They should motivate their offspring to play outdoor

games

instead

of indoor

games

such

computer

games

and video

games

Moreover

, they should

also

present information about how outdoor

games

have more benefits for our health, and how they could relieve stress and give peace of mind. It

also

keeps us fit and healthy.

Therefore

, outdoor

games

should be played by kids. In conclusion, today,

computer

games

are playing a vital role in

children

’s life. Despite the fact that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

father and mother and

technology

are responsible for

children

, it should be solved by

parents

to give motivate their offspring about outdoor

games

Submitted by parth.ramanbhai67 on Mon Feb 07 2022

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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