IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think sending criminals to prison is not an effective way to deal with them. Education and training are better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #criminals #prison #education
There are controversial perspectives heating a debate over how to tackle
criminals
. While some claim that forcing offenders to jail is a useful
way
 to punish them, the opponents believe that improving the educational system and training is more effective. While each has its own perks, I would contend that it is ideal to combine both mentioned factors. Without a shadow of a doubt, imprisonment is the best
way
 to deal with lawbreakers. Contemporarily, ever-growing
criminals
 are a threat to the safety of the citizens, which lead to the deterioration of social quality.
Therefore
, placing perpetrators in jails is a stopgap remedy to prevent hazardous circumstances for people.
For example
, serial killers must be punished for a long time in a miserable cell, and simultaneously be isolated with other relationships to stop the rate of mortality for the country.
Thus
 arresting
criminals
 is an effective method to address them. While the redeeming features of inflicting lawbreakers are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if those of improving education and training are ignored. A reason is that youngsters can spawn illegal activities due to a shortage of academic awareness and adverse impacts on their life.
This
 situation leads to an increasing rate of juvenile delinquency,
then
 amending schooling and general training is a useful
way
 to deteriorate
criminals
.
For instance
, some robbers trigger detrimental situations for the citizens,
however
, after learning the rules of the country, they can distinguish between legal and illegal
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
.
Finally
, some people who break the law should be taught to avoid a guilty life. To conclude, the combination of the two mentioned elements is a suitable
way
 to worsen perpetrators.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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