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Band 4

University education should be free for all students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#university #education #students
Education should be free for all students when it is related to educational institutions.
Therefore
, in my ,opinion I agree with
this
 statement
where
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 I will detail my opinion
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 essay. Higher education definitely should be free for all
admission
Fix the agreement mistake
admissions
show examples
.
Nevertheless
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,opinion I highly agree with
this
 statement since not everyone has the financial power to join a college.
For example
, many individuals have a hard life where they barely achieve a level of discipline that allows them to join a college. The reason for
this
 is
due to
 their lack of monetary privilege that makes it almost impossible for them to join a university.
For example
, if universities were free there
were
Wrong verb form
would be
show examples
 more young people putting effort
to finish
Change preposition
into finishing
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 their elementary education
as a result
leveraging
Change preposition
of leveraging
show examples
 their personal development.
Nevertheless
, the most significant advantage of having a free university tuition charge for all students is that it can not only improve the local economy but
also
 make the individual's life who did the graduation much better.
For instance
, if
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
 tuition were free and there
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 an effort by the local authorities for them to finish their degree many positive things could happen
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decrease
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 hungriness in the middle term
as well as
 a stock of minds that could help the government to improve the local economy by allocating them strategically in the long term. In conclusion,
although
 the majority of universities are paid and hard for poor students to join it could positively change the local economy if implemented for free. The result of
this
 could bring an excellent impact for the person who joined and finished their graduation
as well as
 for their family and community.
Submitted by Elias on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents some relevant points, but the structure and coherence need significant improvement. Potential unclear sentences and points that need further elaboration.
task achievement
Your response to the task is somewhat complete, but it lacks consistency in presenting and supporting ideas. Work on developing a clearer and more focused argument with specific examples.
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