Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem

Nowadays a considerable amount of
children
have an unhealthy life way. the education system and parents have to make attempt to solve
this
problem. Childhood is the most important life period which we must try to enlarge some fruitful habits. There is no doubt that one of them is
the
Correct article usage
a
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healthy lifestyle. It seems that
children
's lifestyle has been literally changed.
In particular
, parents because do not have enough time don't care about it.
Hence
, scion and teenagers waste plenty of time for an unusual
job
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jobs
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such
as
the
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apply
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playing digital games and sitting on
chair
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a chair
the chair
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.
Additionally
, they gain a lot of calories without
practicing
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practising
show examples
actively. Based on fact, over
this
decade offspring have been wasting plenty of their own time on social networks and they have done less exercise
Correct your spelling
than
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that
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than
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what they did over the past twenty years.
Moreover
, not only they have been becoming fattier but
also
some diseases related to overweight have expanded among them.
Furthermore
, in the past
children
used to eat
the
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apply
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homemade cooking more than they do now.
Thus
, they gain
less
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fewer
show examples
calories and more fruitful nutrients which cause them to be healthy. Another factor affecting
children
life style
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lifestyle
show examples
is the consumption
junk
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of junk
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food with trans- oil. Particularly, junk food is
completely
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a completely
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impact on hearth's performance. A great deal of importance is educating to use less
high calorie
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high-calorie
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snacks could reduce
consuming
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consumption
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of them especially if it does with teachers.
For example
, teaching about
the
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apply
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healthy food like fruits or whole-grain
breads
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bread
pieces of bread
loaves of bread
slices of bread
show examples
and homemade cooking could encourage
children
to use them more. In conclusion, if these manners continued
children
would become unhealthier.
Hence
, teachers and parents have to help each other to tackle
completely
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the completely
show examples
problem.
Submitted by ahad.dana on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy lifestyle
  • growing concern
  • crucial role
  • addressing this issue
  • promote healthy habits
  • educational programs
  • physical activities
  • establish healthy routines
  • nutritious meals
  • collaboration
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