Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem

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Nowadays a considerable amount of

children

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have an unhealthy life way. the education system and parents have to make attempt to solve

this

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problem. Childhood is the most important life period which we must try to enlarge some fruitful habits. There is no doubt that one of them is

the

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show examples

healthy lifestyle. It seems that

children

Use synonyms

's lifestyle has been literally changed.

In particular

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, parents because do not have enough time don't care about it.

Hence

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, scion and teenagers waste plenty of time for an unusual

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

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such

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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playing digital games and sitting on

chair

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a chair

the chair

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Additionally

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, they gain a lot of calories without

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

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actively. Based on fact, over

this

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decade offspring have been wasting plenty of their own time on social networks and they have done less exercise

Correct your spelling

than

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that

Correct your spelling

than

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what they did over the past twenty years.

Moreover

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, not only they have been becoming fattier but

also

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some diseases related to overweight have expanded among them.

Furthermore

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, in the past

children

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used to eat

the

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apply

show examples

homemade cooking more than they do now.

Thus

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, they gain

less

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fewer

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calories and more fruitful nutrients which cause them to be healthy. Another factor affecting

children

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life style

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lifestyle

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is the consumption

junk

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of junk

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food with trans- oil. Particularly, junk food is

completely

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a completely

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impact on hearth's performance. A great deal of importance is educating to use less

high calorie

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high-calorie

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snacks could reduce

consuming

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consumption

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of them especially if it does with teachers.

For example

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, teaching about

the

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apply

show examples

healthy food like fruits or whole-grain

breads

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bread

pieces of bread

loaves of bread

slices of bread

show examples

and homemade cooking could encourage

children

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to use them more. In conclusion, if these manners continued

children

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would become unhealthier.

Hence

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, teachers and parents have to help each other to tackle

completely

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the completely

show examples

problem.

Submitted by ahad.dana on Mon Feb 07 2022

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

281 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
growing concern
crucial role
addressing this issue
promote healthy habits
educational programs
physical activities
establish healthy routines
nutritious meals
collaboration

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem

Fully explain your ideas

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, plastic shopping bags are the main source of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, and so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree with this statement?