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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Young people who commit crimes should be punished in the same way as adults. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #crimes #adults
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Due to the growing human rights of modern
society
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,
punishment
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 to young people is less critical than to adults.
On the other hand
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, there are advocates who believe that
society
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 should punish teen criminals normally. I disagree with the idea that punishments
to
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for
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 minors should become a higher level. In
this
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 essay, I will state
reasons
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the reasons
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about
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for
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 the topic.
Firstly
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, it is necessary to understand that most young people are immature and have not yet learned what actions are accepted by
society
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. Without proper guidance from their parents or elders, they may not be able to know the difference between right and wrong or believe that their actions do not have any negative consequences. At the worst, they can commit acts that violate the law. Considering that the majority of minors may not be trained well according to the standards of
society
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 and do not fully understand the effects of their deeds, I argue that the young should receive less severe
punishment
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 than adults.
Secondly
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, a
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high degree
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high-degree
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high degree
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 of
punishment
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 may imply longer prison time for juvenile offenders. If a young offender has to be imprisoned for years, he will have to stop going to school. Obviously, not being able to go to school means that he cannot have the opportunity to develop himself. Afterwards, when he has served his sentence, he will be free again and has to be reintegrated into
society
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. Since he could not hone his skills during his imprisonment, he may have difficulty earning a living. The worst that could happen is that he would go back to his old ways and commit a crime again due to his lack of resources. To sum up, lowering the degree of
punishment
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 for young offenders should be considered because they do not fully understand the weight of their crime. Aside from that, receiving the same
punishment
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 as adults can cause a delay
to
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in
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 their development and hamper their search for jobs.
Submitted by koriente on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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