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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The government should make laws about people's nutrition and food choice. Others argue that would be their choice. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#government #laws #people #nutrition #food #choice
The
government
 should be responsible
making
Change preposition
for making
show examples
 strict
laws
 and regulations about
people
's
nutrition
 and
food
 preferences. Others believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
choice
 and responsibility about their
food
 intake. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
government
 is only responsible to make
laws
 but it is totally
individual's
Correct article usage
an individual's
show examples
choice
 and responsibility for choosing
food
 and
nutrition
 in their daily routine. Many argue that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
government
 should make strict
laws
 and regulations over
food
 production houses for using limited ingredients
such
 as
sugar
, preservatives, etc., Which can harm human
health
 and
nutrition
 because too much
sugar
 can be very dangerous for everyone and cause
health
 difficulties in the future term.
Also
, many countries have taken
an initiatives
Correct the article-noun agreement
an initiative
initiatives
show examples
, For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, In France, it is a strict law of using
sugar
 and fat in the product which can lead
major
Change preposition
to major
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 in humans and they
also
 encourage
people
 to include salads, fruits, etc., in their daily diet plans. And I believe,
this
 is the appreciating thing and
people
also
 should co-operate with it.
However
, others believe that it is totally individuals
choice
Replace the word
choose
show examples
 to have
food
 as per their preference, especially for those
people
 who are foody and love to try a variety of foods from different places because they find temptations in it and tasty
food
 is the only priority for them over the
health
 benefits.
For instance
,
people
 who love sweets will never worry about
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how huge amount of
sugar
 is used to make the product but only they care about the taste. To sum up,
people
 are free to choose
food
 as per their
choice
 and preferences but the
government
also
 should make strict
laws
 about
food
 and
nutrition
 and
also
people
 should follow it.
Moreover
, I
also
 believe that choosing healthy
food
 is an individual's responsibility and
choice
 because
health
 should be the
first
 priority for everyone.
Submitted by goswamimanisha403 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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