IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Q: Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. How far do you share this viewpoint?

#q #everybody #amount #income #support #charity
There is a point that those who work should donate money
by
Change preposition
from
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 their salary to charity. It seems that not an appropriate idea for everybody, and I will explain the reasons in the essay.
Firstly
, all people might not need to donate a fixed amount of their salary.
This
 is not
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
than
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as
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 their life problems,
such
 as paying house
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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 and electricity
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
, etc.
Therefore
, the government has to work on
Add an article
the
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regulation of charitable donations by giving several options
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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based on their capacity. A second negative factor is the lack of financial ability of the population.
This
 results in people’s focus are not on supporting charity because of the unstable economic system which can increase
unemployed
Replace the word
unemployment
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 and poor society, especially in developing countries.
Finally
, there is a
might
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mighty
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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belief
of
Change preposition
apply
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between
donater
Correct your spelling
donation
 and charity.
However
, some charities could not show
authentical
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authentic
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 results and respect.
This
 destroys their passion to contribute
in
Change preposition
to
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this
 activity. It is true that there are some benefits of donation which are supporting children, people, and animals with
an
Correct article usage
apply
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adverse
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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, and other difficulties. Despite
this
, it appears that those who can donate money already built
her
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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or
Correct word choice
apply
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his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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stable
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 and
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 like
wealth
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wealthy
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 people, especially when compared with the public.
To conclude
, charitable donations might not
proper
Add a missing verb
be proper
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 for everybody to donate an amount of their income
due to
 living issues, financial capacity, and society.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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