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Writing Samples
Band 7

Walking is known to be beneficial for health yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#health #people
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Nowadays, walking as a physical
exercise
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 has been decreasing in popularity in spite of its advantages for physical and mental wellbeing.
This
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 is due to the lack of suitable places to
exercise
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, and
this
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 situation can be solved by constructing parks and pathways dedicated to walking. Most of the major cities are crowded with
people
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 and buildings;
thus
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, leaving no space to work out. Since walking
exercise
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 needs much space without distractions,
people
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 face multiple difficulties to perform it in overpopulated cities. As an example, the area I live in is the downtown of the city, Yangon, which is filled with busy traffic and businesses. As a consequence, I feel discouraged to go for a walk during my free time due to these obstacles. Government can alleviate
this
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 problem by building more public places and pedestrian pavements in the urban areas where a large number of
people
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 gather. These spots should be easily accessible from surrounding neighbourhoods and should have a large area
that is
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 sufficient enough to hold a great number of
people
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 without much disturbance. According to research from Griffith University,
people
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 are more motivated to do
exercise
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, particularly walking, if they are provided with a peaceful and pleasant location near their houses. In conclusion, from strolling around to walking and jogging, these physical activities are not interesting enough for many
people
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 to perform them daily despite many beneficial effects for their health because there are not many available spaces for these actions;
however
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, by building parks and allowing more public areas,
people
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 will become more enthusiastic to do these physical actions again.
Submitted by ttz27 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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