Many working people get little or no excercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A vast majority of job-holders take less physical exercise over their working day or their pastime, and
this
Linking Words
can lead to damage their overall
health
Use synonyms
. While reasons for
health
Use synonyms
issues of employees can be totally different, various measures could be taken into consideration. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
issue would be
excessive
Correct article usage
the excessive
show examples
use of new technologies. Thanks to modern devices and gadgets, most physical activities has considerably turned
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
sedentary ones. Spending much more working hours on laptops and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computers without motion has become rife as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, the more they stay inactive, the more
health
Use synonyms
risks they take.
That is
Linking Words
to say,
health
Use synonyms
issues, including obesity and backbone
pain
Add the comma(s)
,pain
show examples
is becoming more prevalent in clerical jobs. A
further
Linking Words
major cause is likely to be the development of
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
lifestyle. Numerous staff are obliged to reside in suburbs, and
this
Linking Words
would lead to them wasting a considerable amount of time commuting
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
to their own home. They might run out of their time and energy even though they have
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
show examples
to take light exercise. What makes the situation worse is that they are more likely to have fast food and junk food in their meals.
However
Linking Words
, some effective measures should be
adapted
Correct your spelling
adopted
show examples
by employers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can provide
allowance
Add an article
an allowance
show examples
of joining and using
health
Use synonyms
clubs which are close to either workplaces or employee’s
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is better to facilitate the employees to access organic and fresh food during their lunch break.
Finally
Linking Words
, the short time should be allocated to light gentle stretching exercise during a working day if there has been
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sufficient room for doing it. To sum up,
this
Linking Words
issue will be tackled effectively if there has been
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
close cooperation between employees and employers.
Submitted by Mohammad Reza Anari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: