IELTS 12 - Test 6 - At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young

adults

Use synonyms

, compared with the number of older

people

Use synonyms

. I believe that

this

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has more benefits than drawbacks. The disadvantage of

this

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development is that it

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the country does not has

the

Correct article usage

show examples

leader in a variety of jobs since it is

necessery

Correct your spelling

necessary

to use older

people

Use synonyms

to be the leader

due to

Correct word choice

because

show examples

they have more experience than

adults

Use synonyms

. Despite

this

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, there are significant advantages it can bring to

people

Use synonyms

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

Firstly

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

adults

Use synonyms

have an intention to do their job in the best performance since the progression are considered the most important in working life.

For example

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, according to the latest research conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that 80% of employees in Thailand can be

reponsible

Correct your spelling

responsible

thier

Correct your spelling

their

role better than older

people

Use synonyms

because they want to have the workings in order to advance in their position.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, on a wider

level

Add a comma

,level

show examples

it may

also

Linking Words

benefit

adults

Use synonyms

can make kids in order that have the

Linking Words

generation to develop the country because the range of

this

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ages

are

Change the verb form

show examples

suitable to have kids. To illustrate

this

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, in recent news, it has been reported that The age between 25 and 30 is very appropriate to have kids

for

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show examples

develop the country in the future and

also

Linking Words

take care

them

Change preposition

of them

show examples

when they become elderly. I would

therefore

Linking Words

argue that

although

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there are disadvantages of the current trend, they are outweighed by the advantages.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

253 words

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IELTS 12 - Test 6 - At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities whether they only know a few people in their area. Advantages and disadvantages of living in small communities?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and work tidy with everything organized and in the correct places, what is your opinion about it?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how they be reduced.