Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #music #culture #ages

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Some

people

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believe that

music

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helps to bring

people

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of different nationalities from all around the world and even different ages and generations. I completely agree with

this

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suggestion. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments

Change preposition

for

show examples

this

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idea.

Firstly

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music

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also

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well-known as a global language. The statistics demonstrate that approximately 35% of the listeners of famous

music

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do not understand its meaning.

This

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figure indicates that

people

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do not care about the language of the song and it is all about melody.

For instance

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music

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concerts and

music

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festivals all around the world, are the events with the most audience in it. If famous singers like Drake and The Weeknd and

such

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like decide to hold a concert in different cities around the globe, the tickets will be sold out quickly.

Furthermore

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, there is various musical taste

between

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among

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the

people

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. There is an article that says that like-minded

people

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with the same

music

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taste interact

easier

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more easily

show examples

with each other.

On the other hand

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, some

music

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is eternal. What I mean is different generations love these songs. As an example, if you analyze Michael Jackson’s concert you will realize there are no age restrictions.

People

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between the age of 18-70 participate in

this

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concert and everybody enjoys it.

Moreover

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, you can communicate with other

people

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of various ranges of ages through

music

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. You can talk about

music

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and you might share your playlist with them and recommend them to listen to the latest

music

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and

likewise

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. After having considered the aforementioned arguments in some depth, I have reached the conclusion that

music

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and everything connected with it can be a good tool for communicating with different nations and generations.

This

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proves that

people

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do not care about the language or even the concept of the

music

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, they like its melody.

Submitted by sia_21gr on Wed Feb 09 2022

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coherence cohesion

Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

Computers and A.I. tehnology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative dvelopment?

There are more families having only one child in the modern days. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained in popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be taken as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?