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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a ualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #ualification
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t is popular among some university
students
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 to embrace the opportunity to explore
subjects
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 beyond their main majors.
Conversely
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, others prefer to focus solely on their chosen fields of study. Considering the benefits and obstacles associated with both approaches, I believe that
students
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 should prioritize their major and not lose sight of their objective. It is perfectly normal for
students
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 to desire to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
 alongside their main majors. In today's interconnected world, academic disciplines often complement each other.
For example
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, the boundaries between fields like business, technology, and psychology are not as distinct as the structured syllabuses may suggest.
As a result
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, exploring diverse
subjects
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 can offer
students
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 a more comprehensive understanding of
the
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apply
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real-world complexities.
Moreover
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, embracing the opportunity to broaden their horizons beyond their primary majors can enrich
students
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' academic journeys and nurture their intellectual curiosity.
While
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 curiosity and exploration are valuable aspects of a student's academic journey, it is essential to maintain a balance between breadth and depth in their learning pursuits.
Students
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 should ensure they dedicate enough time and energy to their field as they progress through university.
Otherwise
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, it may result in surface-level knowledge and a lack of proficiency in their major.
Such
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 an approach could lead to challenges in obtaining their qualification, delays in graduation, or difficulty in pursuing their desired career paths. In conclusion, exploring other
subjects
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 beyond their syllabuses can empower
students
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 to understand real-world complexities better.
However
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, prioritizing their academic areas guarantees depth and proficiency, leading to success in the chosen field and enhancing their potential for success in the job market.
Submitted by ashissarker18 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the last, using connectors and topic sentences to guide the reader through your argument. While your essay demonstrates a logical structure, make improvements by expanding on ideas with clearer transitions and more thorough explanations for each point.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and generally well-formed. However, the introduction could have more clearly outlined the topics to be discussed, and the conclusion could more decisively state your stance regarding the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples. While you have referenced the relevance of interdisciplinary studies, providing specific instances or evidence would enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Provide a balanced discussion on both views before presenting your opinion. Make sure to explore each viewpoint equally and offer a nuanced understanding that shows comprehension of the complexity of the subject.
task achievement
While the ideas are relevant, they could be developed into more comprehensive arguments. To achieve this, consider each viewpoint in more depth and explain how it contributes to the overarching discussion.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples, case studies, or hypothetical situations can provide concrete evidence for your discussion and make your essay more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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