IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people argue that it is not wise for an industry to replace its experienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #industry #workers #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 competitive era, organizations need to have talented and experienced employees to become more successful. There has been an argument between replacing the well-experienced old individuals with young, motivated,and talented ones in the industries but it may differ according to the nature of the works.
First
Linking Words
 of all, cooperation must have the workforces who are so well-known about how the work is flowing so that it can be more productive. It is not a good idea to replace all the experienced old staff because of their age. One's talent should not be dependent upon the numbers only. Not every old folk is out of date as they have passed through different and difficult life obstacles, they know how to handle when unexpected things happened.
In contrast
Linking Words
, a multinational
company
Use synonyms
 may desire young employers as they are more energized and always have new ideas. Younger ones are always eager to try new things and dare to take risks without thinking so much. They are always ready to face the new better changes compared to the elders. So, the
company
Use synonyms
 which wants to be modernized with amazing ideas cannot neglect talented but inexperienced workers. To conclude, there is no right thing that a business or a
company
Use synonyms
 should hire only old staff or new ones. The management team and human resource team should know how to play the roles of the people to make a
company
Use synonyms
 more productive and effective.
Submitted by maythinkyu31 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • experienced
  • old workers
  • young
  • inexperienced
  • replace
  • industry
  • wise
  • argue
  • valuable
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • loss of expertise
  • lack
  • necessary
  • experience
  • maturity
  • diverse
  • workforce
  • mix
  • age groups
  • beneficial
  • focus
  • providing opportunities
  • continuous learning
  • development
  • balanced approach
  • smooth transition
  • maintain productivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: