IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that people have the right to university education, and government should make it free no matter what their financial background. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #right #university #education #government #matter #background
Some People believe that people have the right to university
education
, and I am
one
 of those people who agree
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 that statement. If only the government could make it accessible to all by giving it for free to those who cannot afford it but wants to receive
quality
Add an article
a quality
show examples
education
. Let us start with the statement that our elders always say, "
Education
 is the only treasure we can have in
this
life
 that cannot be stolen by others."
This
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
what I always stand up to. Our Philippine national hero said, and
this
 is applicable to all countries, that the youth is the future of our nation. But how can
this
 happen if our younger
generetions
Correct your spelling
generations
generation
 cannot even get the
education
 they
diserve
Correct your spelling
deserve
 due to financial constraints? It is not their fault that they were not born with golden
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spoon
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their mouths. How can they turn their fate around if from the beginning they lack the most important weapon?They say
life
 is a constant battle and the world is a battlefield because the main reason for our existence is always survival. The greatest weapon we could ever attain to fight back in
life
 is knowledge.
Furthermore
, no
one
 can belittle you if they know that you are someone who is equipped with knowledge and skills brought about by graduating in a course or a degree.
In addition
, no
one
 could ever put you down if you are
knowlegeable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
 and well educated, your diploma is your key to every lock that was set by the society where only a few were given free passes.
For example
,how can you apply for a high salary paying job and make your
life
 financially stable if you don't have the qualifications needed because you don't have a degree
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 How can the youth survive the rat race if right from the start we already disabled them by taking away their only chance to move forward which is in
this
 case,a chance to get a free university
education
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In conclusion, all should have the right to free university
education
 no matter what their financial background is because
education
 is the key to
change
Wrong verb form
changing
show examples
 their previous financial status to a much better
one
. It's not your fault if you were born in poverty, but it's your fault if you die in poverty.
Submitted by Monicaallenborrero on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!