Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #music #culture #ages

Many opine that music is a suitable method of assembling the population of various cultures together. From my point of view ,I completely agree with

this

idea. I

also

believe that it should be increased among human beings.

Firstly

,one of the main reasons for

this

argument is the power of songs.

For instance

,most of the population all around the world habitually prefer to

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

a good interaction with another culture by listening to its songs. We all know songs say everything

that is

related to peoples' traditional culture.

This

could cause a recognition

about

Change preposition

show examples

different things that are trends in all areas around the globe so making communications can be easier .

This

is a noticeable reason for approaching human beings together.

Therefore

this

makes it clear why there is a common belief among the communities about creating

close_knit

Correct your spelling

close-knit

relationships via

this

method.

Secondly

,another conspicuous reason is understanding the emotions when we are listening to a foreign song.

For instance

,psychologists regularly believe when human beings transport a song to their friends and partners they definitely want to reveal their emotions that

this

piece of music is describing better than single words. There is no denying that to understand people's feelings

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

diverse types of things quickly we can assemble together

for generating

Change preposition

to generate

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

worldwide communication.

As a result

,it becomes apparent music has the power to transform tough things into effortless items that we can not ignore. To summarise ,I strongly agree with

this

idea.

Additionally

,I have

this

belief that it should

be rose

Wrong verb form

rise

show examples

quickly. It is predicted that to continue

this

activity among countries people from different cultures will be brought together.

Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on Thu Feb 10 2022

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grammar

Be sure to use the right prepositions. For example, 'increased among human beings' should be 'increased for human beings'.

style

Avoid using overly formal or complex language when it's not necessary. This can make your writing harder to understand.

structure

Work on clarity of idea presentation. Some thoughts seem a bit convoluted and hard to understand.

grammar

Ensure your tenses are consistent. Instead of 'it should be rose quickly', you should say 'it should rise quickly'.

content

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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