IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people say we should invest more in space industry while others say we should spend that money on other purposes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Alongside the rapid development of science and technology, the
space
Use synonyms
 industry,
in particular
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, has been booming in recent decades. Considering the potential of
such
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 an industry, many
people
Use synonyms
 believe it should be invested more
while
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 others believe we had better spend that money on better purposes.
This
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 essay will set out some key points before any
further
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 conclusion. On the one hand, it is undeniable
to say
Verb problem
apply
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that there are severe issues which should be solved as soon as possible to save a huge number of ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 in the world
such
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 as famine, natural disasters, economic recession, diseases, terrorism, etc., and other essential factors including health care, transportation and, importantly, education.
Such
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 a practical humanitarian emergency requires considerable financial
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
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 to maintain the stability and sustainability of humankind on Earth.
Hence
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, it is undoubtedly not hollow words for many
people
Use synonyms
 to say vast investments for research in the universe
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 far too high compared to the visible benefits it brings.
On the other hand
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, the huge amount of money allocated to
space
Use synonyms
 exploration, contrary to many
people
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’s opinion, does bring practical advantages. GPS and satellites must be mentioned as typical achievements. Thanks to the application of GPS, delivery services and drivers are now faster and more punctual since the suppliers can have the precise location of their customers.
About
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With
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 satellites, scientists and professionals are able to observe and predict many potential occurrences of disasters and
such
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 forecasts can save a huge number of
people
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 each year. These indirect applications of
space
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 achievements have been working well. In conclusion,
space
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 programmes knowingly require giant financial allocation but it is not true that the benefits we gain from it are not worth it. In my opinion, it is absolutely wise of us to continue funding
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
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 which can assist humans
to take
Change preposition
in taking
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 control of
this
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 universe on higher levels.

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task achievement
Clarify the arguments further, especially in the introduction. For instance, more detail on what 'better purposes' are would strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to guide the reader on the main idea of that paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to enhance the variety of your sentence structures to improve fluency and make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
Well-articulated arguments for both sides of the discussion, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate the benefits of space exploration, particularly GPS and satellites.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • investment
  • space industry
  • technological advancements
  • exploration
  • international collaboration
  • economic growth
  • innovation
  • global challenges
  • satellite technology
  • pressing issues
  • prioritize
  • funding
  • research and development
  • humanitarian efforts
  • resources allocation
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