IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Women should have an equal role alongside men in both police and armed forces. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#women #role #men #police #forces
Women
 empowerment has grown largely and touched almost every sector all over the world. While some countries like Israel have armed
women
force
 in the military, others,
such
 as India have shown wide interest in recruiting female soldiers to fight in the battle. I totally agree with
this
 agenda that
women
 should be provided equal opportunity in all sectors including administrative services as well.
To begin
 with, the government has taken measurable steps towards enrolling female candidates in BSF, Air
force
, Navy, and Police services.
For example
, in India earlier girls were not allowed to be fighter pilots and later law passed to have the girl crew in the air
force
,
therefore
, it turns out to be that, they are equally competent as men are in fields. People are breaking the social stigma and prejudice about the power that has no relation to gender.
However
, some ministries still discourage the involvement of females in the police.
Although
, Mumbai city of India is highly occupied with the womens' police
force
.
Similarly
, data display that the number of crimes and abuse has been declined. There is numerous incident that comes across in light where
women
 IAS officers tackled the situation bravely and outperforms men. In conclusion, it is rewarding that
women
 are given chance to prove themselves in the different institutions and are courageous enough to fight enemies to protect nations' boundaries.
Submitted by kritikagehlot1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: