Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, while other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the Internet. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

Many opine that to improve knowledge about other countries

humans

Change the noun form

human

show examples

beings should travel abroad ,

however

Linking Words

, some people claim

this

Linking Words

is not essential because of accessing all

information

Use synonyms

on the Internet and televisions. From my point of view ,I believe that to learn about other reasons searching on the internet and watching programmes on TV are not adequate.

Firstly

Linking Words

,in my opinion ,travelling abroad is a suitable method to upgrade our knowledge about other areas.

For example

Linking Words

,to learn about traditional culture in a particular area the Internet can not produce real things that are related to the population. To collect enough

information

Use synonyms

we should touch other cultures and commence merging into them.

This

Linking Words

could create an appropriate space to know about other regions all around the world.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes it clear why some significant

information

Use synonyms

related to other countries can not be found on diverse websites and programmes on TV.

By contrast

Linking Words

,others believe that

this

Linking Words

is not a necessary thing.

For instance

Linking Words

,these people have a common belief that in

Replace the word

the 21st

show examples

century why we should have limited chances to learn about other regions and their cultures. Nowadays there are multiple technological gadgets that we can

exert

Verb problem

use

show examples

to watch films and documentaries related to conventional food , clothes and others to collect more

information

Use synonyms

about our favourite places.

Additionally

Linking Words

,we can read strong essays that citizens in different cities in the world have been

wroten

Verb problem

written

show examples

This

Linking Words

would generate a suitable way for those who do not have any chance to travel.

As a result

Linking Words

,it becomes apparent there is a conspicuous reason behind each claim via societies that we can not ignore. To summarise ,I personally believe that

to learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

something about various areas websites and other types of gadgets

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not enough. It is predicted that to continue creating trips by humans we will be blended into many cultures around the world in the near future.

maede.sadeghi8520

Feb 11, 2022

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Task Response

In the introduction, clearly state both views and the writer's opinion. Provide a balanced discussion on both perspectives throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint with supporting examples, and a conclusion summarizing the main points.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

immersive
interactions
virtual means
cultural nuances
language acquisition
problem-solving
adaptability
sustainability
virtual tours
documentaries
sophisticated
realistic representations
comprehensive understanding
financial status
carbon footprint
digital resources

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Due to high unemployment rate in some countries, pupils should be offered only primary education and not secondary education since there are no jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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