IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveller?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, we have more opportunities to
travel
Use synonyms
 and it's the best way to spend holidays. It's very hard to think about the past time when
one
Use synonyms
 person could live a whole life in
one
Use synonyms
 country even
one
Use synonyms
 city because he couldn't
travel
Use synonyms
 out. On
Use synonyms
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, I believe that the numbers are increased because it's easier to fly and the prices are more accessible for different categories of people.
Therefore
Linking Words
, another reason it's the
big
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of air companies which offer different prices and times of the fly.
In addition
Linking Words
, the country with a nice culture
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
made a business from
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
, they are trying to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people with different offers.
Also
Linking Words
, to
travel
Use synonyms
 it's worth
than invest
Wrong verb form
investing
show examples
many
Correct your spelling
money
show examples
 to
do
Correct your spelling
go
show examples
 shopping or to buy other things which we don't need
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. If you invest money in a good way, you will achieve a nice feeling and
that is
Linking Words
 what we need from a nice holiday. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand, we must be very careful when we choose a destination.
Thus
Linking Words
, if we have a friend from the country we like to visit we can ask him to guide us and to avoid overspending money on
travel
Use synonyms
 companies.
However
Linking Words
, even will cost a lot , the benefits
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the trip are worth it. Different cultures, weather,
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 and traditions could give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
us a nice vibe and amazing memories.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I believe we have just benefited from
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
living in
this
Linking Words
 period of time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when everything
it's
Verb problem
is
show examples
 very easy to have access to and with effortless.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay for better clarity. Start with a clear introduction that outlines the reasons for increased travel, then separate the benefits into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of general statements, mention particular destinations or experiences that illustrate the benefits of travel.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with grammar and word choice. Proofreading for small errors can improve the overall presentation of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay touches on relevant points about the ease of travel and cultural experiences, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economy pricing
  • Cultural exchange
  • International business
  • Heritage sites
  • Cosmopolitan
  • Global citizen
  • Study abroad
  • Standard of living
  • Destination
  • Itinerary
  • Online bookings
  • Digital nomad
  • Bucket list
  • Sustainable travel
  • Eco-tourism
What to do next:
Look at other essays: