IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #countries #money #poverty #aid
These days, underdeveloped
countries
 receive financial
aid
 from developed
countries
, so they can solve the major crisis. But the most effective method to deal with
this
 would be to solve their problem. Some people believe that providing
money
 to these
countries
 does not help them to tackle
poverty
,
that is
 why a different source of help should be provided to
such
countries
. I completely agree and in
this
 essay, I will be supporting my opinion with examples.
Firstly
, the system of the
countries
 in need is not up to the mark. By
this
 I mean the
government
 is not trustworthy as they try to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their pockets
first
 from the
aid
 received from foreign
countries
.
For example
, the
money
 is provided to
government
 officials and due to the lack of surveillance, the received amount is divided among the people receiving through unofficial channels. Another reason why I agree with
that is
 after receiving a huge amount of
aid
 from the developed
countries
poverty
 stands on the same level as it was before. So the questionaries, what happened to that
money
 received? The
government
 uses that amount received for their benefits
thus
, the foreign
countries
 should help these
countries
 by providing food and creating jobs, which will solve the problem in
real
Replace the word
reality
show examples
.
As a result
, these
countries
 can overcome
poverty
 in the longer run.
On the other hand
, many believe that the poor country should know how to utilize
money
 and invest in
such
 a way that they can develop their country and become enough capable of asking foreigners to install a manufacturing unit.
As a result
, new streams of income will be generated. In conclusion,
although
 it is a common belief that these
countries
 need
money
 to solve the problem of
poverty
. I believe that foreign
countries
 can help them by improving the system inside the
government
 and providing jobs to the locals. Personally, I think providing
aid
 inform of
money
 should be the
last
 option.
Submitted by jamesbondop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: