IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #money #poverty #aid
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, underdeveloped
countries
Use synonyms
 receive financial
aid
Use synonyms
 from developed
countries
Use synonyms
, so they can solve the major crisis. But the most effective method to deal with
this
Linking Words
 would be to solve their problem. Some people believe that providing
money
Use synonyms
 to these
countries
Use synonyms
 does not help them to tackle
poverty
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 why a different source of help should be provided to
such
Linking Words
countries
Use synonyms
. I completely agree and in
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will be supporting my opinion with examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the system of the
countries
Use synonyms
 in need is not up to the mark. By
this
Linking Words
 I mean the
government
Use synonyms
 is not trustworthy as they try to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their pockets
first
Linking Words
 from the
aid
Use synonyms
 received from foreign
countries
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
money
Use synonyms
 is provided to
government
Use synonyms
 officials and due to the lack of surveillance, the received amount is divided among the people receiving through unofficial channels. Another reason why I agree with
that is
Linking Words
 after receiving a huge amount of
aid
Use synonyms
 from the developed
countries
Use synonyms
poverty
Use synonyms
 stands on the same level as it was before. So the questionaries, what happened to that
money
Use synonyms
 received? The
government
Use synonyms
 uses that amount received for their benefits
thus
Linking Words
, the foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 should help these
countries
Use synonyms
 by providing food and creating jobs, which will solve the problem in
real
Replace the word
reality
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
, these
countries
Use synonyms
 can overcome
poverty
Use synonyms
 in the longer run.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many believe that the poor country should know how to utilize
money
Use synonyms
 and invest in
such
Linking Words
 a way that they can develop their country and become enough capable of asking foreigners to install a manufacturing unit.
As a result
Linking Words
, new streams of income will be generated. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is a common belief that these
countries
Use synonyms
 need
money
Use synonyms
 to solve the problem of
poverty
Use synonyms
. I believe that foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 can help them by improving the system inside the
government
Use synonyms
 and providing jobs to the locals. Personally, I think providing
aid
Use synonyms
 inform of
money
Use synonyms
 should be the
last
Linking Words
 option.
Submitted by jamesbondop on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: