IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?

#future #reason #mall #entertainment #shop
Some people are of the opinion that in time to come, individuals will mainly patronize
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supermarkets just for fun activities rather than for shopping which I completely agree with.
This
 essay will discuss various reasons for
such
 a change in priority followed by a reasoned conclusion
thereafter
.
To begin
 with, a lot of modern shopping malls are now being structured to capture all members of the family and society.
As a result
, there are different segments in the place to attend to individual needs including those seeking entertainment.
For instance
, shopping malls
in addition
 to groceries have movie theatres, restaurants and even children's playgrounds encouraging household members with different needs to explore the environment maximally.
Moreover
,
due to
 the rise in the standard of living, a lot of people especially teenagers and youths now shop for fun rather than for things they actually want.
Accordingly
, the trend is expected to rise in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
show examples
 future as more countries continue to conquer hunger and improve the lives of their citizens.
For example
, statistics have shown that the dollar
wastage
Correct your spelling
waste
show examples
 of each family on a commodity bought and never used for its intended purpose has increased two-fold in the
last
 decade with most customers agreeing to have it because of the extra cash at their disposal.
Therefore
, with better living conditions nearby, spending will rise
further
. In conclusion, the increasing pattern
in
Change preposition
of
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 seeking
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
entertainment rather than buying
of
Change preposition
apply
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goods in a supermarket is
due to
 the modern architectural designs which encourage a wholistic service
as well as
 better living conditions
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 citizens. The trend will go higher in time to come as more countries continue to grow and develop.
Submitted by joshuaosarenmwinda on

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task response
Ensure a clear stance is presented and maintained throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Develop clearer topic sentences and use linking words to enhance coherence between paragraphs.
lexical resource
Enhance the range of vocabulary used and ensure accuracy in word choice.
grammatical range
Utilize a wider range of complex grammatical structures and ensure accurate use of tenses.
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