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Band 5

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #animals #zoos
Are
zoos
 a good habitant for fauna? It can be argued that keeping
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 in
Add an article
the zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
 has both
posotive
Correct your spelling
positive
 and
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 sides. While some in danger
animals
 are better to be kept in
zoo
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a zoo
show examples
, others should live their natural life.
This
 essay will discuss both
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 and positive aspects in
this
 regard. On one hand,
animals
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are kept in
zoos
 will gradually lose their natural habits. keeping some wild
animals
 like tigers and
chitas
Correct your spelling
chinas
 in
protected
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the protected
a protected
show examples
area
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areas
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 is not suitable. These
animal
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animals
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 have
instinct
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the instinct
an instinct
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 of haunting and because it is not possible to behave
base
Wrong verb form
based
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 on their natural habits it is preferable to let them live in their natural
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
. It can be
siad
Correct your spelling
said
 that keeping these
animals
 in
Add an article
the cage
a cage
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cage
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cages
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 is commercial.
On the other hand
, there are some species that are in danger of extinction. There are many threats for them in
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wildlife
show examples
wild life
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wildlife
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. Since
extinction
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the extinction
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 of any species haurt
the ecosystems balance
Change to a genitive case
the balance of the ecosystem
the ecosystem's balance
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 it is a good idea to protect them in
Add an article
the zoo
a zoo
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
.
For instance
, the
turtule
Correct your spelling
turtle
 nests can be eaten by snails. Other
animals
 like
polar
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a polar
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bear
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bears
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 can live in
a
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an
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 icy climate and due to global
warming
Add a comma
,warming
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 they are
loseing
Correct your spelling
losing
 their natural
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
. Providing
simulated
Correct article usage
a simulated
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 for these
animals
 can save them from
dieing
Correct your spelling
dying
 out. To conclude, I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that
zoos
 are not a place to entertain people.
Although
 it is maybe amusing for children to visit wild
animals
 in
zoos
 which they could not visit
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in any other way,
This
 should not be seen
a
Change preposition
as a
show examples
commercial
instituation
Correct your spelling
institution
. It is
be
Change the form of the verb
being
show examples
 considered a place to protect
animals
 from extinction
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
severe
Correct article usage
the severe
show examples
 help of
trained
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a trained
show examples
veterinarian
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veterinarians
show examples
.
Submitted by bahar.nazarzadeh88 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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