Both governments and individuals are spending vast amounts of money protecting animals and their habitat. This money could be better spent dealing with fundamental issues in society such as poverty and health care. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, more
money
was
appropriated for caring Wrong verb form
is
animals
and their wildlife habitat .Change preposition
for animals
However
, in many counties
, some Correct your spelling
countries
people
have essential issues of
Change preposition
in
life
. Because they have
not Add a missing verb
do have
a
suitable financial Correct article usage
apply
circumstance
. Many of them require Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
the
home and earn more Correct article usage
a
money
. In this
essay, I will describe about
my opinion Remove the preposition
apply
in
Change preposition
on
which
the government should be more considerate quality of Correct word choice
how
people
lives. In many Change noun form
people's
of
developed and developing countries, dogs and pets are protected by Change preposition
apply
people
and government
. It is so important for them Correct article usage
the government
which
they allocate an amountCorrect word choice
that
as
animal protection in the country’s budget every year. BecauseChange preposition
to
,
some species of Remove the comma
apply
animals
are endangered or they are threatened by poachers and hunters. Therefore
, the governments
is committed to keeping and caring for all Fix the agreement mistake
government
animals
and their habitat. Furthermore
, the conservation of animals
and
worldwide Correct word choice
apply
need
too much Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
money
which it
should be covered and paid Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
the government and Change preposition
for by
people
in these countries .This
budget sometime
is equal Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
or
more than the cost of education in some other countries. Change preposition
to or
Although
we must respect and protect the
Correct article usage
apply
wild
Correct your spelling
wildlife
life
and the environment, some men and women in the world
do not have any suitable life
and minimum convenient
. Unfortunately, some children in the Replace the word
convenience
world
have been deprived of normal education and home life
. In conclusion, these days many people
spend a lot of money
for
their pets and some Change preposition
on
animals
.Also
they Add a comma
Also,
are organized
some environmental groups Change the verb form
have organized
for protecting
them. Change preposition
to protect
On the other
hand
there are many Add a comma
hand,
human
in our Change to a plural noun
humans
world
whom
need Change the pronoun
who
foods
,Fix the agreement mistake
food
home
and other facilities .I Correct article usage
a home
Correct your spelling
believe
beilive
that it is not worth spending Correct your spelling
believe
money
for
Change preposition
on
animals
when other human
in the Change the wording
humans
world
face to
many Correct your spelling
too
seriously
problemsChange the adverb
serious
Submitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion