IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
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Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
people
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 have
this
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 belief that social
networks
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for instance
Linking Words
 Facebook has had a noticeable negative effect on individuals and the community at large. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
networks
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 waste a
lot
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 of
time
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 for
majority
Add an article
the majority
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 and at the same
time
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 has led to cybercrime.
However
Linking Words
, they provide a good marketing avenue for
business
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products
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, many
people
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 waste a
lot
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 of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
networks
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.
This
Linking Words
 is especially so with the young generation. A youth will wake up to social
networks
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 to the extent of forgetting other important chores. Recently there was a global
complain
Replace the word
complaint
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 from employers that employees are spending a
lot
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 of
time
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in
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on
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 phones rather than doing the main
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
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. Social networking has
also
Linking Words
 contributed to cybercrime. Many
people
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 innocently upload their social environments and interactions with their peers
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
social
networks
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. What they are unaware of is that some individuals remain online trying to track or find
whereabouts
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the whereabouts
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 of other
people
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 and
this
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 exposes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innocent
people
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 to theft and even abduction. My very own country has been forced to pass legislative bills to counter cybercrimes that have been going out of hand. A good thing is that social
networks
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 provide an advertising platform for
business
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products
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.
Business
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people
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 have from the recent past found a new avenue where they can market their
products
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. I have friends who entirely rely on Facebook to market and sell their goods and services.
This
Linking Words
 has even been embraced by companies including government institutions. In conclusion, many
people
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 especially the young generation waste a
lot
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 of
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social
networks
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 like Facebook.
The social
Correct article usage
Social
show examples
networks
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 have
also
Linking Words
 contributed to
increased
Correct article usage
the increased
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 prevalence of cybercrime.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
networks
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 have provided an advertising and selling medium for
business
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products
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. It is my wish that if the social
networks
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 are used properly they would improve our lives and the welfare of the society at large.
Submitted by dmwitikimathi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
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