TASK 2 : With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #communication #technology #phones #tablets #devices #people

These days the advance of communication technology

such

as mobile phones ,tablets and other mobile devices is becoming rapidly. Many opine that they have more benefits rather than drawbacks. From my point of view ,I completely disagree with

this

idea.

Firstly

,one of the main reasons for

this

opinion is the negative impact of using technological gadgets on human brains.

For example

,there are multiple strong surveys that believe ,people who

exert

Verb problem

use

show examples

these gadgets to create relationships habitually can not become successful in their communications.

This

is a noticeable drawback that we can not say these things have advantages.

Therefore

this

makes it clear there are multiple downsides related to technology and things that are dependent on it that human beings should consider.

Secondly

,another drawback is suffering from mental disorders.

For instance

,we all know most of the population in the world ,especially ,the young generations regularly spend a lot of time chatting ,sending

e_mails

Correct your spelling

emails

and making friends on social media. These people prefer to stay at home and create cyber interactions rather than

making

Verb problem

having

show examples

real conversations.

This

could cause isolation and

finally

, they will suffer from the most dangerous mental illness which is called depression.

As a result

,it becomes apparent there are multiple downsides behind each upside that we can not ignore. All things considered ,I strongly disagree with

this

idea. I

also

believe the use of technology to generate communications should be halted. It is predicted that to continue

this

activity among humans we will witness other drawbacks that can be more hazardous in the near future.

Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on Sun Feb 13 2022

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improvement

Task Response: The essay provides a clear opinion but lacks depth in discussing both sides of the argument. It would be beneficial to include a balanced analysis of advantages and disadvantages to strengthen the argument.

improvement

Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is generally good, with clear progression of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay. Additionally, linking words and phrases can be used more effectively to enhance the flow of the essay.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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TASK 2 : With the rapid advancement of communication technology: smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, some people believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new rail way lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.

Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.

Examine the arguments in favour of and against animal experiments, and come to a conclusion on this issue. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?