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Band 3.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
The majority of people toward the jobs has been changed because lifestyle and living life are unstable.
however
,staying a long
time
 in the
work
 or had had some entertainments it can lead both positive and negative. I believe
balance
Wrong verb form
balancing
show examples
 it and
had
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 some free
time
 is more
advantage
Replace the word
advantageous
show examples
 than
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. there are many positive sides.
firstly
, earn massive of money in a short
time
. for ,example people were worked 14 hours had more income than others who worked at
regular
Add an article
the regular
a regular
show examples
time
.
secondly
,the budget allows what do you need and want.
for instance
, my cousin
work
 17 hours in Boston tower he helps our family to pay the bills and my brother school. ,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 he can make a lot of saving money and expense a lot for things that he likes and wants.
nevertheless
,more
time
 spent on
work
 could affect health problems.
in addition
 ,
time
 management is can help people to be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
healthier like after
work
 had had exercise and activities like walking after
work
 or
join
Wrong verb form
joining
show examples
 with clubs sport.
moreover
, it could feel deprivation to your child.
for example
, during
work
Add a comma
,work
show examples
 a lot while coming to the home just need to sleep.
however
, the child was couldn't stay with him. to sum up ,there are both positive and negative but in my ,opinion offering leisure activity can balance between
work
 and some entertainment so, the pros outweigh cons.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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