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Band 3

There are more males than females in the world. Do you agree or disagree?

#males #females #world
The diagram illustrates figures of
workers
 and companies in two cities in the period of 50
years
. Overall, in all periods there were more male employees as compared to females.
To begin
 with, during the
first
 20
years
 the total number of both men and women
workers
 dropped rapidly from 287,100 to 80, 123 and 190,000 to 160, 000 respectively.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
show examples
, as the
employees
Change to a genitive case
employee's
employees'
show examples
 figures decreased, there was an
increament
Correct your spelling
increment
 in the factories built as they went from 225 to 622.
Furthermore
, in the
last
 three
years
, the figures of both male and female employees decreased sharply from 76, 132 to 31, 000 and 50, 000 to 30, 000 respectively.
Moreover
, the year 1891 had the highest fall on the male company
workers
 with 34, 000 and female
workers
 with just 10, 000. Moreso, in 1881 they had more factories compared to all
years
, though the numbers decreased in the
last
 20
years
 to 600 at the end of the period.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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