SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT A GOOD DIET AND EXERCISE ARE NOT NECESSARY FOR A HEALTH AND LONG LIFE. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE ?

It is often said that many opine that taking up a sport is not an essential activity for those who want to have a healthy lifestyle
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
for lifespan. From my point of view ,I completely disagree with
this
idea.
Firstly
,one of the main reasons for
this
argument is noticing sportspersons as a permanent pattern.
For example
,in most countries around the world where we can find sport as an essential
also
crucial operation ,most of the population are healthy in their 60s. They
also
prefer to live for a long time.
This
is true that the issue could have many reasons ,
however
, we can not ignore
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
healthy lifestyle needs to have a strong body . Exercise could fulfil
this
indispensable thing.
Therefore
,
this
makes it clear why sport is one of the most significant activities in human lives.
Secondly
,another reason is the powerful impact of exercising on human brains.
For instance
,we all know in order to become healthy human beings should be happy. It means that
to do
Verb problem
with
show examples
exercise they can attain
the
Change the word
their
show examples
goal. Rehearsing every day , going jogging ,swimming and playing football are conspicuous examples to confirm the content.
Additionally
,in order to have a long life ,taking up
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise regularly and its influence on our soul could persuade us to accept that it is definitely necessary.
As a result
,it becomes apparent there is a persuasive reason behind each opinion that we can not ignore. To summarise ,I strongly disagree with
this
idea.
This
is a wrong opinion
that is
becoming common among people. It is predicted that to continue avoiding
this
positive activity all the population in the world will suffer from health problems and face death.
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Overall
The essay presents relevant ideas but lacks coherence in the logical structure. It also falls short in providing a complete response to the task, as well as relevant specific examples.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: