IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Education is the single most important factor for a developing country. Do you agree or disagree

#education #factor #country
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Nowadays, Some people assume that schooling has solely profound importance
to improve
Change preposition
in improving
show examples
 an expanding nation. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and I will support my belief with instances. On the one hand, Literacy improves a working person's capability. We can take Computer skills as an example, Nowadays it is impossible to lead a life towards an impressive growth trajectory without
this
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 knowledge because modern life ardently depends on technology which is operated by computers.
This
Linking Words
 skill is manageable by those who are educated and who can skim the language of computers. One of my friends joined his job just the next day when he got his graduation result because he was skilled in computers since his university life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Health is more important than education because an unhealthy community is a curse for a nation.
For example
Linking Words
, If we look out in some Indian states where famine is a daily event
as well as
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 there are 70 % of people are educated but they
can
Verb problem
are
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 not able to improve their conditions because of their health issues. As they don't get enough food for a living they are not eligible to do work that would be beneficial for their nations
as well as
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 them.
Moreover
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, To become an asset of nations individuals need to be physically capable first
then
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 they can
keep
Verb problem
make
show examples
 tremendous contributions to promote the society. In conclusion, No doubt tuition keeps a significant tribute
enhancing
Change preposition
to enhancing
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 a developing world but In my opinion, I believe that skilled people,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 community,
an
Correct word choice
and an
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 factor
also
Linking Words
 important for developing a country.
Submitted by sporshiajyoti on

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coherence
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present the main argument and summary of the essay. Expand on the conclusion to provide a more comprehensive overview of the discussion.
task response
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on the ideas presented to strengthen the arguments and make them more relevant to the topic. Ensure all points directly support the main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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