IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people think it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports is better like tennis and swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #part #sports #teams #football #tennis
Engaging in sports is one of the best ways to escape from a stressful life.
However
, is it better to participate as a team or as an individual player? In my opinion, playing alone is more advantageous. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss both perspectives and I shall see forth my point of view. On the one hand, games played by groups aid in developing the character and teamwork skills of an individual as well as the sense of community, respect and leadership.
In addition
, being part of the team teaches people the significance of responsibility, cooperation and
also
 reliability because their victory lies in each others' hands. To illustrate, in a basketball competition, members have designated positions
such
 as centre, power forward, small forward, point guard, and shooting guard wherein they should learn to communicate,cooperate and most importantly, to follow their leader.
Therefore
, joining in competitions by the group is beneficial in improving the social and mental aspects of an athlete
although
 it could create a hostile environment especially during receiving individual trophies.
On the contrary
, individual sport promotes higher levels of self-reliance, discipline and passion for a reason that winning and losing relies entirely on the player.
Moreover
, since there are no teammates, the competitor tends to be more self-aware and motivated to work harder to succeed.
Furthermore
, the winning streak for individual athletes can significantly impact their confidence in their abilities.
Hence
, playing alone is better than taking part as a squad. To conclude, playing by team help develop people socially and mentally while individual games focus mainly on enhancing abilities to compete and succeed all on their own.
Hence
, participating in individual competitions are much more useful.
Submitted by tamorah2020 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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