Although many people value their public parks, this space could be used for other purposes such as residential areas for over growing population or to develop business and boost economics. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

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In the contemporary day and age, there is a of word regarding the belief that authority should occupy open areas
such
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as
,
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parks and gardens to build a commercial and residential building, it fosters to manage boot in a population and generates economy. An equal number of people opine in favour of the notion,
however
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, others are hesitant about it. The reasons in the following paragraphs will cast light on my personal perspective and will render a logical conclusion. Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
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, I partially welcome the statement that demolishing a public park to construct residential or commercial buildings. Multifarious reasons are there for my outlook. The first and most paramount one is municipal parks provide space for exercise,
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as walking, jogging, cycling and playing sports which promote physical fitness.
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, green space reduces stress, anxiety and depression by offering a serene environment for relaxation and mindfulness.
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, community gardens serve as gathering spaces for families, friends and neighbours, stimulating stronger community relationships. On second thought a couple of reasons drive me to consider the opposite notion as well, Establishing a residence and business centre on a Recreation ground alleviates work opportunities and accelerates individual and economic growth, not only emphasising socio-economic benefits but
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mitigating house crises, where people from middle-class or lower-middle-class are effortlessly afforded their own house and safeguard shelter to hundreds of the household. To recapitulate,
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arguments and aforementioned, one can reach the conclusion that the benefits of public parks are many, they offer physical and mental health benefits and provide a stronger connection with a community.
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a structured argument but could benefit from a clearer organizational framework. Consider using more distinct paragraphing to separate different viewpoints and their counterarguments, enhancing the essay's coherence.
task achievement
Your essay thoroughly addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue. However, aim to elaborate more deeply on each perspective with additional specific examples or statistics to strongly support your argument.
task achievement
While your ideas are generally clear, there are sections that could use more clarity and precision in language. Focus on sharpening your sentences to convey your thoughts more effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively included an introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main points and drawing a logical conclusion to your discussion.
task achievement
The essay successfully acknowledges both sides of the argument, demonstrating your ability to consider different perspectives.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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