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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that cars are the best way to travel in a city, while others think that bicycle is better. Discuss both point of views and give your opinion

#people #cars #travel #city #bicycle #point
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The opinion is divided as to whether a car or a bicycle offers a better means of transportation in municipals.
Although
 some argue that using a car is best,
however
, I believe
otherwise
.
This
 essay will discuss both views in detail followed by a reasoned conclusion
thereafter
.
To begin
 with, some people will prefer using automobiles because of their capacity.
Accordingly
, household members can readily use a private vehicle together to travel or move around the metropolis.
For instance
, statistics have shown that the majority of married couples
thrive
Verb problem
strive
show examples
 to own a vehicle within the first year of marriage in order to ease the movement of everyone in the family.
Hence
 owning a car offers the possibility of mass transit.
On the other hand
, using automobiles rather than bicycles can make journeys extremely difficult and boring.To explain
further
, the urban area is full of traffic which cannot easily be manoeuvred if a vehicle is chosen.
Therefore
, if time is of utmost value, it is better to ply the city on bikes.
Also
, ​bikes aid one to keep physically fit and healthy compared to the other means of mobility.
As a result
, a bike rider is able to burn out excess fat from the body by being active on the pedals
in contrast
 to his or her
contemporary
Replace the word
contemporaries
show examples
 who sit idly behind the wheel
subsequently
Correct word choice
and subsequently
show examples
gaining
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 weight.
For example
, using bicycles, which helps one to keep fit
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been shown to reduce cardiovascular risk factors.
Thus
 manual activities like bike riding can help one achieve a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion,
while
 choosing between either means of transportation is still
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
controversy
Replace the word
controversial
show examples
, I believe that using bikes in cities is superior
due to
 the benefits
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 avoiding traffic and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living a healthy life
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that are logically connected. Use transition words to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. Make sure your examples are relevant to the points you are making.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • comfort
  • faster transportation
  • flexibility
  • routes
  • destinations
  • passengers
  • loads
  • health benefits
  • environmental benefits
  • sustainable lifestyle
  • cost-effective
  • maneuverability
  • congested areas
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