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Band 5.5

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #prison #citizens #teenagers #dangers #crime
Some
people
 consider that the best
people
 to talk to
teenagers
 about the dangers of committing a
crime
 are
people
 who have been in prison become good citizens later. In my opinion，I have much sympathy with
this
 view，for several reasons addressed below. In the
first
 place，during the growing up of some children，because of the rebellious psychology of adolescence，some children are likely to think that some crimes are cool，and they even want to imitate. At
this
 point, if
people
 who have been in prison tell them that
crime
 is not cool at all，told
teenagers
 about their criminal experiences，and tell
teenagers
 that they have been punished for committing crimes，they regret their past
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Teenagers
 may be discouraged from wanting to commit a
crime
. Unlike others, their experiences are authentic，so it's more persuasive. In the
second
 place，to be honest，there are many other ways to dissuade
teenagers
 from committing crimes，but none of them is the best way.
For example
, in school, teachers ask students not to commit crimes. Most students just listen, but they don't care. Because in the eyes of the students, the teacher's persuasion is not persuasive. Just like the teacher tell them that they should study hard，they don't care and they even go against the teacher. In summary，the best
people
 to talk to
teenagers
 about the dangers of committing a
crime
 are
people
 who have been in prison become good citizens later.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prisoners
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • consequences
  • insights
  • deterrent
  • guidance
  • support
  • role models
  • positive change
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