Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society

In the modern

world

, by

rising

Correct your spelling

raising

show examples

the rate of consumerism due to the power of advertising as the result the high sales of consumer

goods

have not focused on the real needs of the society.

This

essay will discuss agree or disagreements based on my own opinion.

Firstly

, it seems advertising on televisions or streets

consequently

encourage youth or

people

to buy

goods

that are not essential for them and as the result,

increasing

Wrong verb form

increases

show examples

the pollution all around

world

Add an article

the world

show examples

, slowly but surely.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

the fans of fashion's trends have advertised with famous

people

such

as, models, singers and actors to buy clothes

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

unnecessary and just inflected on trends so,

world

pollutions are increasing day by day.

In addition

, provided that linked the past and now, would think deeply about that

for example

, in the past without any advertising, social media or online shops

people

bought

goods

based on their needs

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

clothes they just go to shopping once a year. So, I am the proponent of high sales with

power

Add an article

the power

show examples

of advertising the

goods

are not essential.

However

, these days online shops encourage youth to buy easily and fast

goods

are unnecessary. Citizens with high incomes and wages tend to buy everything without needs. But actually, there is no means to be

Change the article

apply

show examples

materialistic and follow

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumerism because the

world

needs less pollution for the future. To conclude, the power of advertising sales unnecessary

goods

in society is

also

common but it is not possible to control the issue because it is

really

Add an article

a really

show examples

individual

Correct article usage

an individual

show examples

decision for

people

. So, unfortunately, everybody can just control their own.

Submitted by TUTOO on Wed Feb 16 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

“Nowadays children are undisciplined because their parents are busy with their career.” To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What could parents do to build a sense of discipline among children?

Some people believe that music should be taught in schools, while others think that it is best to focus on computer and science. Discuss both views and your opinion.

​Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in thefuture, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting universuty studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in thefuture, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.