Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos,while others think that zoos are both entertaining and logically important. Discuss both views.

#people #animals #zoos

In these

Change preposition

These

show examples

days,notions of keeping

animals

in zoos are varied from each other.Most people think that caging

animals

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apply

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is better than releasing them to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

nature.In

this

essay,I will discuss

this

issue according to environmental,personal and economic views. According to some people,keeping

animals

in cages will protect them from being prey for predators.

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show examples

this

way,we can sustain their food availability.

Nevertheless

,keeping

animals

free is more logical than isolating them from their species.If we save them in a cage all the time,they would not be able to live in

fresh

Add an article

the fresh

show examples

air and chase after

animals

In other words

,we prevent them to experience

normal

Add an article

a normal

show examples

life.

Although

keeping

animals

in cages is cruel,it comes with several benefits.

Substantial

Add an article

A substantial

show examples

amount of profits can be made by keeping these

animals

.In a per day, a wide range of people come to zoos to see these

animals

.Obviously,

this

brings a lot of money to the government. As far as I am concerned,keeping

animals

in cages is not fair.Like

humanbeings

Correct your spelling

human beings

animals

also

have emotions and feelings.They do have

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

to live independently like us. To conclude,keeping

animals

in zoos might have some

values

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value

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,but it is unjustifiable to keep

animals

away from their natural habitat.They have the right to survive independently,to

fulfill

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fulfil

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their life till the end.

Submitted by uluga2002 on Wed Feb 16 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

204 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

captivity
natural habitat
artificial enclosures
genetic diversity
animal welfare
conservation efforts
endangered species
biodiversity
education platform
breeding programs
reintroduction
psychological suffering

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Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos,while others think that zoos are both entertaining and logically important. Discuss both views.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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