At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

To embark with, there are several advantages to

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

a large number of

youngsters

First

and foremost,

adults

are very fond of information about how to use it in different areas.

Therefore

, the

work

can be effortlessly done within

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

hours.

Moreover

youngsters

have confidence and commitment level towards their

work

. Eventually, they have more capabilities and strength compared to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old

age

people.

For example

, 50% of the

adults

prefer to choose their own field and become successful in the future time while doing enormous hard

work

On the contrary

, there are two sides to a coin.

Firstly

, it will create unemployment if

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

adults

is increasing.

However

, old

age

people know various kinds of

art

Correct your spelling

artwork

show examples

work

which is very popular in worldwide.

Secondly

, old

age

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

plenty of experiences in many

field

Change to a plural noun

fields

show examples

Hence

, they are very successful rather than

adults

because quality matters not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

quantity.

Lastly

, old

age

ponder for the long-term investments apart from that ,

youngsters

do not have thinking capacity so they are less effective and only think for the short-term gains. To conclude,

this

essay has been explored from both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sides with enough

evidences

Change the wording

evidence

pieces of evidence

shreds of evidence

show examples

which

finally

allows me to pen down and state that experience of old

age

people plays a vital role to become successful, but

youngsters

have command over technological advancements. The implications support the view that

youngsters

are much needed for a country to prosper despite having its flaws.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

241 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that zoos are all cruel and should be shut down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals.

Government investment in the arts,such as music and theatre is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that we learn best through in-person interaction with a teacher in a classroom. Others believe that online learning is more effective. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.