IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
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To embark with, there are several advantages to
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 a large number of
youngsters
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.
First
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 and foremost,
adults
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 are very fond of information about how to use it in different areas.
Therefore
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, the
work
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 can be effortlessly done within
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 hours.
Moreover
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,
youngsters
Use synonyms
 have confidence and commitment level towards their
work
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. Eventually, they have more capabilities and strength compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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old
age
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 people.
For example
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, 50% of the
adults
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 prefer to choose their own field and become successful in the future time while doing enormous hard
work
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.
On the contrary
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, there are two sides to a coin.
Firstly
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, it will create unemployment if
population
Add an article
the population
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 of
adults
Use synonyms
 is increasing.
However
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, old
age
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 people know various kinds of
art
Correct your spelling
artwork
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work
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 which is very popular in worldwide.
Secondly
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, old
age
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have
Change the verb form
has
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 plenty of experiences in many
field
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fields
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.
Hence
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, they are very successful rather than
adults
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 because quality matters not
the
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apply
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quantity.
Lastly
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, old
age
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 ponder for the long-term investments apart from that ,
youngsters
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 do not have thinking capacity so they are less effective and only think for the short-term gains. To conclude,
this
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 essay has been explored from both
the
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apply
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sides with enough
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 which
finally
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 allows me to pen down and state that experience of old
age
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 people plays a vital role to become successful, but
youngsters
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 have command over technological advancements. The implications support the view that
youngsters
Use synonyms
 are much needed for a country to prosper despite having its flaws.
Submitted by rohitgohel2658 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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