IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement ? What influences people when they buy food ? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#people #food #care #costs #influences
Nowadays, the more developing science and technology are, the more advanced
people
's lives become.
Besides
 accommodations and clothes, they are
also
 concerned about
food
 products. It is argued that the majority of
people
 do not pay attention to the method of
food
 production, they only care about its cost. Personally, I am partly convinced by the idea for some reasons mentioned in
this
 essay. On the one hand, there are two main advantages of consuming inexpensive
food
.
Firstly
, it will solve the lack of
food
as well as
 starvation issues thanks to a great amount of cheap
food
 provided.
Secondly
, low-income
people
 can purchase it everywhere.
For instance
, over four decades before, instant noodles
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 one of the expensive dishes that only residents with high or
medium-income
Correct your spelling
medium incomes
show examples
 could purchase.
However
, thanks to developing manufacturing technologies, their cost has fallen
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
dramatically, so everybody is easy to enjoy them.
On the other hand
, there are other aspects that customers care about when shopping for
food
.
Besides
 prices, production methods, freshness and the origin of
food
 are
also
 vital to
people
's health. First of all, manufacturing ways
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the quality of
food
.
For example
, plants grown with an organic method that uses few pesticides and artificial chemicals are believed to be good for health so most consumers prefer to buy.
Secondly
, freshness is
also
 an essential element that exerts an impact on
people
's decisions when opting for
food
. Because the quality of a dish depends on how fresh and new the ingredients are.
Last
 but not least, the
food
 origin is another concerning factor.
For example
,
food
 which is imported from European countries is sold better than the Chinese one. In conclusion, I am not persuaded by the idea that everyone prioritizes the price when purchasing
food
 as other elements are
also
 paid attention to as they directly affect the
food
 content
as well as
people
's health.
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task response
The essay generally addresses the topic, it provides relevant points and examples to support the arguments. However, the essay could delve deeper into each point and provide more analysis and insight into the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a good logical structure and presents a clear introduction and conclusion. The points are well-supported and the essay progresses logically.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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