Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

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Playing is vital in improving children's potential in different aspects of life, whether it is modern or traditional.

However

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, some people think that in developing a child's capabilities, old games are much more beneficial than new ones. In my point of view, I agree that both kinds of entertainment are significant.

This

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essay shall discuss the two issues and shall elucidate my viewpoint.

To begin

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with, long-established activities serve as reminders to appreciate our very own culture, if they were introduced to people at a young age,

then

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will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

be able to conserve society's traditions. It commonly involves numerous players which are usually family members or neighbours,

consequently

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, there will be a stronger bond among the community.

In addition

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, a sense of cooperation and teamwork skills were developed since all of the participants

learn

Wrong verb form

learned

show examples

to work together for victory.

And most

Correct word choice

Most

show examples

importantly, It encourages exercise

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that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is crucial in maintaining the health of an individual. In the Philippines,

for example

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, youngsters used to play Patintero which involves running.

Thus

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, playing old-fashioned

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

advantageous to our ethnicity

as well as

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to fitness.

On the contrary

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, because of the advancements in technology, children can nowadays enjoy their free time through online competitions.

While

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there are downsides to video games, there are

also

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surprising benefits.

First,

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it develops their cognitive ability

due to

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the reason that they have to work and solve problems like puzzles and mysteries.

Second,

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it boosts reading skills most probably because there is a need to figure out instructions. And

last

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but not

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

least, social connections are promoted as children will be able to interact with people of different nations.

For instance

Linking Words

, the research published in Current Biology showed that gamers are highly sensitive to what's happening around them and reading mastery too.

Hence

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, online activities are useful in enhancing a person's potential.

Hence

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,Conclusively both traditional and modern sports are important

however

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it will improve offspring talents and their own abilities

furthermore

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it will provide social connection in the community. Throughout the analysis of

this

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argument , I will support both kinds of sports

moreover

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I will

be recommended

Wrong verb form

recommend

show examples

the traditional one to reach

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

internationality

tamorah2020Thu Feb 17 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure all ideas support the thesis more consistently to improve logical structure.

coherence cohesion

Work on paragraph transitions for better flow between ideas.

task achievement

Aim for more clarity in expressing ideas to avoid ambiguity.

task achievement

Develop points more fully to improve comprehensiveness.

task achievement

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic, considering both traditional and modern games.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the use of Patintero in the Philippines, effectively illustrate points made.

coherence cohesion

Clear introduction and conclusion present, framing the argument well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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21
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

358 words

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Some people think traditional games are better than modern games in helping children develop their abilities. To what extent do you agree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people say that sports play an important role in the development of society. Others think it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that violent films and videogames have negative effects on people and should be banned. Others think that they are just relaxation sources. Discuss both sides and give opinion.

check the grammer and improve me to get 6.5 in ietls

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out the history of the house or building they live in What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that detailed criminal descriptions in newspapers and TV have bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?