Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment. why? and how to encourage them to go out?

current generation spends most of
the
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their
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time
indoor
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in indoor
show examples
activities rather than going outside from home
for doing
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to do
show examples
hiking and climbing. There are several reasons behind
this
such
as electronic gadgets and academic pressure on students' minds and
also
two possible counter-measures we could take. Why do young people
provide
Verb problem
spend
show examples
extremely
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extreme
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time
for
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on
show examples
indoor activities?
Firstly
, in the contemporary era, every pupil has their own modern devices
such
as mobile phones, computers and laptops
with
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apply
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to have
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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tremendous
time
and
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apply
show examples
doing distinct hobbies.
For instance
, playing video games, listening to music and watching movies.
Therefore
, youngsters just sit at home and use these devices.
Secondly
, in
this
torrid pace of life, study competition is encouraged day by day.
Hence
, not only parents put extreme pressure on their children's brains but teachers
also
. School mentors provide a huge of homework especially on holidays and weekends
due to
which students do have not sufficient for go outside and play
some
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apply
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games that are one more reason. To tackle
this
, higher authorities should
be arranged
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arrange
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the
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apply
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sports
club
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clubs
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in every city, organise games competitions and fix the
prize
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prizes
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for the winners
due to
which young individuals are inspired by them and reveal their interest in participating.
Moreover
, teachers should teach
to
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apply
show examples
their pupils practically rather than theoretically because practical study
student's
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students
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catch easily and put less pressure on their minds.
Thus
, teachers are
also
given less written homework
that
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so that
show examples
developing people obtain adequate
time
for outdoor
recreations
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recreation
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
the youth population
obtain
Verb problem
spends
show examples
more
time
indoors
due to
technology and study, outdoor activities are
equal
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equally
show examples
mandatory for physical fitness.
Submitted by tanvirkaur.0184 on

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Task Response
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt by discussing reasons why young people prefer indoor activities over outdoor activities and suggesting possible solutions to encourage them to go out.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing the essay. The main points are supported with relevant examples, enhancing the coherence of the essay.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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