Young people do not spend their holidays and weekends doing outdoor activities like hiking and climbing in natural environment. why? and how to encourage them to go out?
current generation spends most of
the
Change the word
their
time
Use synonyms
indoor
activities rather than going outside from home Change preposition
in indoor
for doing
hiking and climbing. There are several reasons behind Change preposition
to do
this
Linking Words
such
as electronic gadgets and academic pressure on students' minds and Linking Words
also
two possible counter-measures we could take.
Why do young people Linking Words
provide
Verb problem
spend
extremely
Change the word
extreme
time
Use synonyms
for
indoor activities? Change preposition
on
Firstly
, in the contemporary era, every pupil has their own modern devices Linking Words
such
as mobile phones, computers and laptops Linking Words
with
to have Correct word choice
apply
spent
tremendous Wrong verb form
spend
time
Use synonyms
and
doing distinct hobbies. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, playing video games, listening to music and watching movies. Linking Words
Therefore
, youngsters just sit at home and use these devices. Linking Words
Secondly
, in Linking Words
this
torrid pace of life, study competition is encouraged day by day. Linking Words
Hence
, not only parents put extreme pressure on their children's brains but teachers Linking Words
also
. School mentors provide a huge of homework especially on holidays and weekends Linking Words
due to
which students do have not sufficient for go outside and play Linking Words
some
games that are one more reason.
To tackle Correct quantifier usage
apply
this
, higher authorities should Linking Words
be arranged
Wrong verb form
arrange
the
sports Correct article usage
apply
club
in every city, organise games competitions and fix the Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
prize
for the winners Fix the agreement mistake
prizes
due to
which young individuals are inspired by them and reveal their interest in participating. Linking Words
Moreover
, teachers should teach Linking Words
to
their pupils practically rather than theoretically because practical study Change preposition
apply
student's
catch easily and put less pressure on their minds. Change noun form
students
Thus
, teachers are Linking Words
also
given less written homework Linking Words
that
developing people obtain adequate Correct word choice
so that
time
for outdoor Use synonyms
recreations
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
recreation
although
the youth population Linking Words
obtain
more Verb problem
spends
time
indoors Use synonyms
due to
technology and study, outdoor activities are Linking Words
equal
mandatory for physical fitness.Change the word
equally
Submitted by tanvirkaur.0184 on
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Task Response
The essay provides a clear response to the prompt by discussing reasons why young people prefer indoor activities over outdoor activities and suggesting possible solutions to encourage them to go out.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, effectively framing the essay. The main points are supported with relevant examples, enhancing the coherence of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.