The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #strain #health #care #system #education #lessons #school #curriculum

Due to

its huge impact on quality of life, being overweight has become a major public health concern lately that could lead to lifelong diseases like diabetes. Some people argue that the best way to prevent

this

chronic illness is by actively doing exercise from a young age through

sports

lessons as a part of

school

Add an article

the school

show examples

curriculum. I personally agree if

this

scheme is applied, as it will build

children

's character

as well as

encourage pupils to love the sport from childhood. First and foremost, getting involved in

sports

activities at

school

will develop

children

’s character because some

sports

such

as football and baseball require great teamwork to win. Teamwork itself can teach pupils to work with fellow humans with different personalities, which I believe will benefit them to expand their networking in professional life later.

In addition

such

activities

also

promote the sense of competition that makes

children

realize their potential and strive for it.

Secondly

, having physical education as a part of the

school

syllabus will encourage

children

to love

sports

from childhood and make it a part of their lifestyle later as adults. I recall the moment when I was in elementary

school

and had swimming as one of the mandatory subjects at

school

. Through the lesson, now I put swimming as my regular exercise and do it twice a month to maintain my weight.

Lastly

children

who are doing

sports

activities regularly will be less likely to suffer from obesity which

also

prevents them from chronic disease caused by weight gain.

To conclude

, I support the idea that schools make

sports

one of their subjects because it delivers positive effects on pupils' character and forms sustainable behaviour in adulthood.

This

is as long as

children

are given a balanced proportion between physical and science lessons at

school

Submitted by nadita.ayudya on Fri Feb 18 2022

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task response

Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Your response should fully address the question posed and provide a clear opinion. Make sure to outline both the advantages and disadvantages of the proposed solution.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion. However, ensure that the logical flow of your ideas is maintained throughout the essay. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Childern have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

Communication technologies, such as smart phones, tablets and other mobile devices, have experienced rapid developments. Some people think the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.