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Band 3.5

The internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree?

#internet #people #lives
• Nowadays
the
Correct article usage
apply
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computer technologies are so developed.
Therefore
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
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children
Add an article
the children
show examples
waste
 their
time
 with virtual
life
. It is too worth
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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 their health and future. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is true that the
internet
 has caused
people
 to be isolated
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
. Because more than half of
people
use
 mobile phones and computers, including small
children
waste
 their most of
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 social networks and online
games
. Nowadays playing online
games
 turn into
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
, especially school
children
play
Correct pronoun usage
who play
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 virtual
games
instead
 of natural
games
.
Therefore
 plenty of
children
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
no
Correct your spelling
not
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 enough
time
 for their study and other things.
On the other hand
 it
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
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 a little good because
,
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apply
show examples
 several
people
 earn money from the
internet
.
This
 is so useful for their
life
. And they
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 only for earning money. But other
people
 only
waste
 their free
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
, chatting with friends, watching videos and movies. It is no
use
that
Correct word choice
than
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 surfing on the
internet
. So
people
 who
use
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 have only one advantage
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they can earn money. How
use
 the
internet
 depends on
people
. School
children
 should stop
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 their expensive
time
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online
games
. It is not a lie that the
internet
 separated
people
 from their real
life
. I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
 with
this
 statement and
people
 should
use
 the
internet
 only for good things. And all parents should ban to their
children
waste
 their much
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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